All men wait on death.   If this seems a little off...consider it lack of sleep, hit and miss hospital food, and too much caffeine.   Thursday I went to see my uncle.  Friday I went back to stay.  He's in the hospital with the M.R.S.A. staph infection, C-Diff infection in his colon, and total renal failure.  His kidneys stopped working 10 days ago.  The creatin levels are climbing, as of yesterday they were at 6.9.(0.5-1.5 being normal.) He r...

Went to the dollar store today. I wonder how long it will stay the dollar store with the cost of everything going up.  The Dollar and a Quarter Store just doesn't have the same "It's a Bargain" ring. I like to get alphabet workbooks, stickers, construction paper, paint, puzzles, all the fun stuff for my 5 year old there.  A while back they carried dinosaur wall stickers.  I painted his wall with a big ugly volcano, some landscape, and stuck those dinosaurs...

There is an older couple close to my home who are for various reasons raising their grand children.  The man was medically retired years ago because of massive heart problems.  The woman is long past retirement age, close to 70, but still works every day so they can support their grand children. I speak with the woman often.  She describes the horror of not having enough money for anything but the essentials, and those only most of the time.  The devastation o...

What's up with head shot on the home page? Why is Erath's avatar all over the place? Just wonderin.

I couldn't sleep last night.  Or should that read "I couldn't sleep at ALL last night?" Technically I slept, but it was the place my mind goes when between full dead limb sleep and wakefulness. Nothing was on my mind.  I wasn't worried.  I just couldn't grasp the REM sleep I needed.  Probably the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ate three hours before bed. As is my way when not getting rejuvenating sleep, today things are running willy nilly in my head. ...

I see LW has another JU stalker.  This one is going by the name Kurthy. I understand people with strong opinions get haters on their blog.  But it seems to me LW attracts more than her fair share. I've decided.....   I WANT A STALKER!   Think about it.  If you haven't been blog stalked, does that mean you're too boring?  Too vanilla to even be tasted?  That you aren't worth someone setting up an account, thinking of pithy and sometime...

I spent the whole day yesterday hanging crown molding in the master bedroom.   I am so sore from looking up.   My neck hurts, and the back of my shoulders are stiff.   But this morning when I awoke to bright sunshine and beautiful molding I was content (at least until I tried to get out of bed). Several things I have learned over the years when working with molding:   don’t rush (rushing makes for sloppy miter cuts and poor leveling), three coats of paint (no m...

My youngest has the best work ethic.  

Warning:  This is a bit of a ramble…doing it very fast….but if you can make it through, would love your feedback! I went to get my wig today. It’s a nice wig, looks just like my old hair, except a little longer. Insurance covers 80% of a “cranial prosthesis,” but once in a lifetime. I went to a Network provider (NP). A NP is someone who signs a contract with my insurance company agreeing to accept payment for whatever amount my insurance company deems w...

Yesterday. In the Chemo Chair next to mine. A child. My son’s age. His mother’s face, oh my god, his mother’s face.  Creases deep enough for an an entire fingertip. Inside. I shattered.  I was strong and steady up until then.  But something died inside me yesterday, shriveled black and stinking in the presence of the child’s pain. And his mother’s. And for the first time I thanked God for my breast cancer.  Thanked God it is me an...

Today I went for the first big Chemo treatment of 6.  This regime involves a cocktail of three chemotherapies:  Taxotere, Carboplatin, and Herceptin (TCH) every three weeks, and I go in once a week for the Herceptin between the big cocktail.  After 18 weeks (barring problems) I go to Herceptin every 3 weeks up to 52 weeks, and start radiation, 7 weeks.  Then Tamoxifen for five years.  Most civilian cancer centers are a little fancier than the one at Wright Patters...

***Photos of Skin-Sparing Mastectomy Below Post-Surgery*** It is true.  I bruise easy, and they tend to last a long time.  In fact, it is fairly normal to keep a bruise for 4-5 weeks.  Remember the bruising from the gross 5-day post-op pictures?  (Visual reminder below…) When my plastic surgeon saw the bruising he told me about this wonderful herb called Arnica Montana (AM).  He encouraged me to take it.  Skeptical, I trudged to GNC, plopped down...

I went to get my boob filled today. Seriously. I bought a Venti Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Latte to fill my belly, then reclined on a table while the good doctor inserted a needle and pumped 100 ml of saline into the expander.  I made him stop at 100 because my pectoral muscle was tweaking.  But now I think he could have gone at least 50 more.  I have 200 ml to go yet, but several months to get there.  Can’t swap expander for gummy bear until I’m done wit...

Five years ago, on JoeUser, I “met” UDig, aka Chris.  I loved his sense of humor, his writing, the way he loved InBloom. Online acquaintance grew into friendship. Yesterday this vibrant, funny, talented young man passed away from health complications. God bless him.  God bless Inbloom. May he rest in peace.     His blog.

***********************************GRAPHIC PHOTOS OF A  POST-MASTECTOMY BREAST BELOW******************************************       I won’t lie. I struggled with whether or not to post these pictures. After all, you can see the ravages of breast cancer simply by googling it. But those pictures aren’t my genuine experience. Those pictures aren’t me . Certain my pride would keep its secrets, breast cancer force...