Five years ago, on JoeUser, I “met” UDig, aka Chris.  I loved his sense of humor, his writing, the way he loved InBloom. Online acquaintance grew into friendship. Yesterday this vibrant, funny, talented young man passed away from health complications. God bless him.  God bless Inbloom. May he rest in peace.     His blog.

***********************************GRAPHIC PHOTOS OF A  POST-MASTECTOMY BREAST BELOW******************************************       I won’t lie. I struggled with whether or not to post these pictures. After all, you can see the ravages of breast cancer simply by googling it. But those pictures aren’t my genuine experience. Those pictures aren’t me . Certain my pride would keep its secrets, breast cancer force...

October 27th. The day started with anti-nausea medications and four needles of radioactive material injected into my nipple. I didn’t have to wait for surgery. While I was in the pre-op room, the hospital chaplain came to visit me. Strange. There were many other people in the room getting ready for surgery, but he came to my bed like I called him. And left when we were done. (We said a prayer together.) Last thing I remember is my anesthesiologist telling me I was a light w...

<<<<<My FAMILY>>>>>   Tomorrow I go in for a mastectomy, port placement, and immediate reconstruction (if possible, if NOT then an “expander” is placed).  They tell me, odds are less than 5% I could actually die from complications.  I’m “young,” healthy, whatever. Odds are pretty small I could have breast cancer too. These days, I don’t play the odds. That’s...

I was asked to say a few words at my Aunt Shelby’s funeral in September.  She planned the entire event, from the Elvis gospel playing in the background, the suit she wore, the flowers she wanted, the casket, everything.  So I was surprised and happy when my cousin (her only child) asked me to say a few words, read a poem, something.  He knew she was a mother to me in so many ways.  And he never resented the time she spent with me, the home she made for me. In the ...

Here’s a novel idea. You don’t like reading people debate religion? Don’t click on that topic! It always amazes me when people who label themselves fairly “open-minded” get all bent out of shape over a religious debate. Never mind the endless political, technical, social, and entertainment debates that occur here without a peep of protest; nay actual participation , from the offended. Let a group start discussing God, faith, and (oh no!) their opini...

“I had the WEIRDEST dream last night.” Don’t you hate when a friend or family member utters those words? It is usually followed by twenty minutes of "and then(s)" rambling which seems to make perfect sense to them, but not a bit to anyone else. So. I had the weirdest dream last night.  Try to keep up… A friend’s house, (maybe Aunt Jamie’s?), a demon, or demons, haunting the place. I walked from room to room with a cross ...

SERIOUS WOE-IS-ME SNARKINESS AHEAD………..also references to the female anatomy, um, and some cussing….so if that offends, you might wanna skip this……   -------------------------------- For someone who is all about rabid quality of life and not quantity, a woman doesn’t “survive” breast cancer. She may get a reprieve, but eventually, one way or another it gets her; in whole, or in bite size pieces. Today I took Ga...

Breast cancer does not mean a woman is saintly, strong, self-sacrificing, or even wise. It does not mean her political views are right, she is morally superior, or somehow touched with holiness. It means she is sick. Some people with breast cancer sucked ass before the disease, suck ass during the disease, and continue sucking ass if they survive. (I’m sure for some people, I fall into this sucking ass category, and no amount of pink ribbons and poison pumped intravenously will ...

I am a writer.  I’ve always been a writer.  So it is no surprise writing is a balm, in this less than healthy time of life.  I am keeping a diary and will blog it occasionally.  Why?  Because I exist.  At least for now.  I’m here.  And, I am a writer. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Breast Cancer Diary Excerpt Yesterday I went downtown for a fancy MRI, (re...

Found out today. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (HERS 2 overexpression ER+/PR+).  Big ass word for holy-crap-I’m-41-and-have-two-kids-to-raise! They say it is the “aggressive” type. They say Monday is my first operation. They say I have radiation and chemotherapy in my future. They say I have cancer. But you know what? I say cancer has me .

There I was; lying topless in a cotton gown that opened in the front, staring up at the off white ceiling, wondering how, at 41, I was in such a predicament.  After all, I work out, eat fairly well, take care of myself. The doctor came in, along with the ultrasound tech, and one female chaperone.  (Though I always think its kind of funny when the female chaperone is nineteen, maybe twenty.)  Along with all the medical equipment humming in the background, and the rolling be...

I’m done. Finished. Finito. Two years and gobs of learning later, I now have an MPA beside my name.  But I don’t want to talk about graduate studies, or graduate degrees.  It consumed the last two years of my life and frankly, that is enough. ------------------------- I love Facebook.  Love it.  It allows re-connection with old friends, nurturing new ones, and feels like I am still part of good, but distant friends’, present.  ...

It’s been awhile. I’d like to blame the lapse in blogging on Facebook, school, family, yadda, yadda. But, I don’t want to start out lying. I’ll save that for the end. Life is full. So full sometimes I wonder if the cup is getting smaller, more crowded, less porcelain more plastic. Two more quarters and I am done with this Master’s Degree. So what am I going to do with it? My husband and I discussed this the other night and the conversation went something like this: M...