Very insightful Doc.  I'd say it is WORSE for the family of someone with cancer, than actually having the cancer.  At least that's my opinion so far.

Watching my aunt the last 5 years on chemo, sick and then the whole dying process.....she's at peace now while we're struggling with her absence.  So in a way, her cancer is still kicking ass and taking names.

I have only seen one side (and hope I never see the other).  I cannot say "I know how you feel", as I do not.  But I can say I know how your husband feels.

exactly.  That's what she meant and why she said it was better than what she has.  She cannot take herceptin. 

 Her cancer now is not cureable.  They can keep her on meds (which she'll be for the rest of her life) and keep switching them out as  she becomes immune with lots of diff alternatives until they run out.  The best they can hope for her is remission and what they doctors are trying to do.  She went 8 years cancer free and now it's back so she said she's not a great example other than being a survivor the first time.  But she said she knows lots of breast cancer survivors and  can only think of one death as a result. 

Same here.  While I know quite a few with this I've not lost any friends to death as a result.  And I've known two so far that were stage 4.  It's to the point now that while any type of cancer is scary, to me, pancreatic or lung cancer or maybe brain cancer would have me more afraid  knowing that those cancers are much harder to get past.  My friend's husband died of pancreatic cancer before he hit 40 leaving her with two boys under the age of 13 so this is hard for her boys now in their 20's to deal with. 

If you have six weeks, then make use of the time by getting a second opinion on diagnosis and treatment options. It matters where you go... My mom had non Hodgkin lymphoma in 92 and one doctor wanted to break a bunch of her ribs and operate immediately on a small mass in her chest, she went to another doctor who had a much less dramatic idea.  Shes still alive and cancer free today. Its not like the second doctor was easy. She did have to go through chemo and radiation, plus a bone marrow transplant, but we all believe that the first doctor would have killed her. Its always good to ask for second opinion. 

It can sometimes confuse things, but no one ever died of too much information.

Thanks Anthony.  I did get a second opinion.  I'm seeing a military cancer team in a military hospital.  Let's just say my experience with military health care has been systematically poor over the last two decades.  That's just MY experience, I certainly can't speak to anyone else's.

So I went to a civilian downtown for a second opinion.  He said the exact same things.  Biopsy, lumpectomy or mastectomy, radiation if in lymphs after mastectomy, chemo, herceptin and hormone suppression.

It's almost scary how consistent the information is...not only what I'm getting in person, but what I'm finding on line as well.

True.  But I imagine some have died waiting for it

......

Tonya, this is Sabrina--

I snuck in here to tell everyone that Elie (Moderateman) died yesterday, and now I see this.  I am crying too hard to type.  Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and you can call me at (richmond area code) 658-0977.  It's been a while.

Any crank callers who think they're gonna bug me know this:  I use VoiP and it logs every source of every call, even if you block your number.  Don't mess with me, I am in mourning.

This just made me smile.  CLASSIC Little Whip! 

Good luck with the new future LW!!  I'm so happy for you both.