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Published on May 24, 2008 By Tova7 In Movies & TV & Books

I went to see this movie today.

I saw all the other Indiana Jones movies in excess, each several times.

I found this movie to be technically on par with the previous  movies.  You may think that is a good thing, but it's not.  It looks as if it were shot fifteen years ago.  Except computer generation, none of the new cutting edge cinematography for action movies is present.

Remember when it was IJ vs nature vs traps and all the excitement?

That element is sadly underplayed in this movie.

The acting was SO BAD in the first 30 minutes I thought it was a spoof.  I kept thinking, they should roll the credits anytime now and start the real movie.

Nope.

I don't know what happened, but Harrison didn't seem comfortable in this role at all.  It was like watching a bad audition where the entire time you secretly cringe and are embarrassed for the actor.

I took an online poll before the movie.  It asked me, "Is Harrison Ford too old for this part?"

I answered, "no."

However, there are a few scenes, especially at the beginning when his age just seemed to take center stage.  And it wasn't intentional on the part of the director.  He just moved old, too old for this part.

The first forty five minutes DRAG by with way way too much dialog by other characters aimed at propping up IJ.  Why does he need words to do it?  He is IJ....watching him be himself always spoke for itself.

Not so this movie.

The crystal skull is the worst movie prop I have EVER seen.  It is a clear plastic alien skull with aluminum foil or clear plastic wrap where the brain cavity rests.

It looks no more like crystal than K-Mart plastic ware, and instead of being an artifact, I kept thinking, "Man that's a crappy prop."

Every time it was in a scene, I was forced out of suspended reality and reminded it was a medicore movie with really crappy props.  (Well, that and the TIRED cliches.  I spoke a few lines before the actor, they were so predictable and SO SO bad.)

The last fifteen minutes are the best part of the movie, but full of said prop.  So you never really get consumed by the movie.  I still heard crunching pop corn, heavy breathing, and wondered how much longer it could possibly last.

I didn't leave the theater feeling like I was coming back from a couple hours in another place...I left feeling like I just spent a couple hours in a cramped theater with a bunch of people watching crap tv.

Over all, this is the worst I.J. in the entire series.

The best parts are all covered in the trailer, in fact if the movie lived up to the trailer, it'd be a GREAT movie.

If you want to see it on big screen, wait for a matinee.  I wouldn't recommend paying full price.

Out of four stars, I give it a one.

Barely.


Comments (Page 1)
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on May 24, 2008

Oh, the first few times the "crystal skull" was in a scene, I looked at other patrons to see if they were buying it.

Nope.

While I don't mind an occasional bad prop, or bad line, it gets down right insulting when they make it the focus of the movie. 

 

on May 24, 2008

Ouch. That sucks. I'm probably not gonna see it anyways. I have all three originals on my desk, though, in a fancy Indy true box.

I knew it was goin' downhill when I saw a platinum-colored Indiana Jones box containing the first three, and it was so untrue to the original theme.

on May 24, 2008
My boys asked me to go with them to see it and I said naaaah. It started at 9:30 and I was already tired. Heh, I didn't even hear them when they came home. The next morning they told me it was sucky so I should be glad I didn't go.

Oh well, at least it was kinda an honor to be asked!
on May 25, 2008
Ouch! No wonder my son does not want to see it!
on May 25, 2008

My boys asked me to go with them to see it and I said naaaah. It started at 9:30 and I was already tired. Heh, I didn't even hear them when they came home. The next morning they told me it was sucky so I should be glad I didn't go.

hahaha.

I wonder if they were the same guys sitting behind me....they were not happy with the movie at all...in fact they often voiced what I was thinking...."Ya gotta be kidding me!"

That sucks. I'm probably not gonna see it anyways. I have all three originals on my desk, though, in a fancy Indy true box.

You can always wait for the rental.

 

on May 25, 2008

Saw this with the wife and daughter on Friday.  Having seen comments from friends and acquaintances, I really had my expectations lowered going in.  I wouldn't say it was awful, but it was far from the best.

Ranking for me matches another acquaintance from the internet:

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark

2. Last Crusade

-- big gap --

3. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (even with the pathetically bad skull prop, along with unbelievable refrigerators, predictable plot lines, etc...)

4. Temple of Doom (Lucas/Spielberg still owe me heavy compensation for making me watch that one!!!)

Raiders was an awesome movie and just so much fun.  Temple of Doom almost ruined the series and required Sean Connery to help erase the bad taste, though a $100 gift check in payment back from Lucas/Spielberg would be more along the lines of what is required.  Not to mention that Lucas should be giving Star Wars fans about $200 - $300 each for making us suffer through the 3 prequel Star Wars films.  Last Crusade brought fun back to the Indiana Jones franchise and was just an enjoyable film to watch.

Which brings us to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  Not horrible, but parts of it were just bad.  The skull prop was totally pathetic.  Crystal Skull my left nut.  Cheap ugly plastic.  Completely so.  Quartz crystal isn't that expensive.  Heavy for carrying I guess, but considering that the prop was 'in the bag' for much of the time it was on screen, they should have used REAL CRYSTAL and not cheap ugly plastic.

The refrigerator... ugh.  Stupid, lame, unbelievable and totally ridiculous.

FBI agents that are seen for *one* scene and then gone?  Why were they not more involved?  Oh, yeah, because then it would have been more blatantly ripping off the National Treasure movies.

Kate Blanchette as Natasha (think Boris and Natasha, from Rocky and Bullwinkle).  Blech.  Accent as annoying as Meryl Streep used to be to me.

Not to mention the e.t. element, the Mutt element, the completely blown 'surprise' of having Karen Allen back in the franchise (since they gave that away in trailer/promo's for the film).  And no Sean Connery who really might have made this one a better film if they had found a way to actually include *him* rather than just a picture and few second nod back at him.

Lucas lost the ability to write/tell a good story with Return of the Jedi.  After that he's really gone downhill.  Spielberg did the best he could given a pile of crap story from Lucas, but you can only go so far to make things better when you are starting with crap.

In many ways Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a parody of the Indiana Jones franchise, but rather than going completely for parody they tried to be serious too and failed on both sides.  It wasn't horrible, but again was far from the best.  If not for the nostalgia it would have been best left untouched with Last Crusade as the end of the franchise.

on May 25, 2008

In many ways Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a parody of the Indiana Jones franchise,

Yeah, that sums it up nice and tight.

Thanks.

on May 25, 2008

I absolutely agree with everything you said about this movie.  Bad acting, horrible skull prop, all around campy.  But, call me crazy, I kinda liked it. 

I've been thinking about it and maybe it's just the idea was good.  George Lucas seems to come up with great ideas, but he is no good at executing them.  Everything he writes just comes out hokey.  The dialogue is awful and the details left in the dust.  But, deep down, it's a good story, and thats what makes them come out o.k.  Just imagine if he had let the ideas be developed by a better writer.  Imagine what Star Wars and Indiana Jones could have been!  He's wonderful at visual effects, but he shouldn't be allowed within 100 ft. of a script!

But, I'm glad it didn't have any new slick cinematography - it wouldn't have the same feel as the other movies in the series.

on May 25, 2008

Wow, that is terrible!  So the skull is that bad? Wow!  I think I agree with the slick cinematography for IJ since it's not like some of these more modern-type genres.  But they sure should have made it worth the wait for heavens sake!  I'm not sure I'm going to see it or wait til the movie is on DVD.  Only if I'm pressured by No. 1 son!lol!  He's more keen on going to see Speed Racer next though! 

on May 25, 2008
But, I'm glad it didn't have any new slick cinematography


At the very least the camera angles (and that ain't "Slick") shoulda been better. A director can set the tone of a movie simply by using camera angles, zooms, and pans.

This was like a high school kid shot it, fifteen years ago. Heh.

So the skull is that bad?


Oh yeah, wait till ya see it...it'll be a constant reminder the movie is crap.

on May 25, 2008

Phew...  I'm glad you've done all the hard work.  Now I have a really good excuse to wait for it to come up for free on television, as it will do at some point in the future.  At least then, the ad breaks will give me a respite from the bad acting.

Go and see Iron Man if you want to see something that is the opposite of this movie.  Iron Man kicks butt!

on May 26, 2008

This bums me out. I really wanted this to be a good movie. I will wait till it comes out on DVD.

Thanks for the heads up.

on May 26, 2008

This bums me out. I really wanted this to be a good movie.

That's what really bugs me.  I think they did such a crap job because they KNEW people would forgive bad acting/cheesy props etc, because we wanted a new one to the series.

Or at least it seems that way.

Go and see Iron Man if you want to see something that is the opposite of this movie. Iron Man kicks butt!

Saw it the first weekend it opened.

I liked it a lot.

 

on May 26, 2008

I guess I'm waiting 'til it comes out on DVD, too.

What's the last good Spielberg movie? Saving Private Ryan? Schindler's List? They came out in 1998 and 1993. Maybe he should have let someone else direct it.

Too bad since I was kinda looking forward to it. Same thing with Speed Racer. I used to love the cartoon when I was a kid.

 

on May 26, 2008

Same thing with Speed Racer

I saw the shorts for Speed Racer and it looked absolutely dreadful.  I too loved Speed Racer when I was young.  But the reality is the conversion to real life action has made it seem incredibly ridiculous (as far as I'm concerned but remember, this is just my opinion and is worth as much as the paper its not written on )

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