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Published on January 2, 2008 By Tova7 In Blogging

We’re snowed in today.

Technically if we really wanted to get out and about we could.  But what is the point?  Most everything in town is delayed or closed.

Something I wonder about since moving back to Ohio.  Why does snow seem like such a surprise every year to the schools and the snow plows?  They know it’s coming, but then re-act with a “wow, where did this come from?” attitude.

 Maybe it’s just me, but I remember a lot more snow falling here when I was a kid.  We experienced the blizzard of 1976, (ok, the year may be off a bit but it was the biggest weather event of my life at that point).  We lived in a trailer with my dad and his girlfriend.  The furnace went out, so we huddled in front of the stove in sleeping bags.  Later that night, the wind blew so hard it knocked out a living room window.  Before my dad could even cover the window in plastic, the wind drifted the snow up over the window to the roof of the trailer.

The next day, we kids burrowed out said window making a tunnel in the snow.  Not because the front door was blocked, but because it was what good white trash did.  Why go through a door when a window is more novel? hahaha

The night of the blizzard, after the window breaking, and the furnace quitting, we lost power.  The electric oven we huddled around went cold.  My dad lit the kerosene heater, the one which always gave me a massive headache when lit inside.  

Maybe the thought Ohio received more snow when I was a kid is like the ideas my family members have of wearing feed sacks for dresses, walking five miles to school with no shoes, in snow five feet deep, uphill both ways! Hahahaha

My kid’s memories will be about a warm house, a big pot of beans on the stove with corn bread and brownies.   Nice, average, vanilla memories.  And I am thankful for every single one of them.

 

 

I read once that however a person spends New Year’s Day…so goes the year.

I hope this isn’t a year of the dead for my family.  Most of my family spent several hours at a wake/memorial for my uncle’s brother.

I wonder if this will be a big year in the faith department for me.  Yesterday two young men knocked on my door.  Each wore a black trench coat and suit.  It was windy and cold.  In my humble opinion they weren’t dressed for the weather.

Name tags identified them as elders with the Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS).  Elders at the ripe old age of 19, haha.  MORMONS!  They asked me the standard “Are you familiar with the love of our Savior?”  I told them I was thank you very much…and I was also familiar with their faith.  Not an expert mind you, but having read most of the book of Mormon, and having several friends who follow the faith, I know a tad.  Enough to know it’s not for me.

As I stood in the door watching them shivering two things entered my head.  Ted has a son in Las Vegas doing missionary work.  I can’t do anything for his son, but I could do something for these boys.  Second, I remember LW talking about inviting them in and chatting and how much she enjoyed it.

I invited them in to warm up and share a soda.  We talked for a long time.  They are living in another town, and get to drive instead of riding bikes.  They snickered about some of their brothers out riding bikes in the snow.  Snickered in a good way, the way men talk smack.  Like they were letting me in on a little inside joke.

I was shocked to learn they could only call home twice a year over the course of their two year mission.  They email their family once a week though.  Still, I thought it odd.  They explained family takes their minds off the mission.  I don’t usually agree with sending teenagers out without the benefit of their parents, but I am sure there are facets to this I am not seeing.  I offered to let them use my phone to call home if they wanted.  (Just call me a suburban temptation, heh.)  They politely refused, but I got the feeling the newest kid might have taken me up on the offer if alone.

I know this has no bearing on anything but….when has that ever mattered?  Both of those boys wore veneers on their teeth.  I’m talking big white shiny ones, like Demi Moore’s mouthful.  It reminded me of starving Ethiopians, the way their skin stretched over their skulls and the teeth seemed more prominent than the rest of the face.

They’re only 19, I am sure their faces will grow into the teeth.

When they left, my husband told me I better never invite two men into the house when he’s not home.

 He saw them as men, I saw them as Ted’s son, or SanChino, or my friend Melody’s boys.   I saw them as everything I love about my LDS pals and welcomed them in under that umbrella.

My husband didn’t see it that way though.  Heh.

 

I hope the New Year is good to you.  Full of many blessings, adventures, and discovery.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Jan 02, 2008
I was shocked to learn they could only call home twice a year over the course of their two year mission. They email their family once a week though. Still, I thought it odd. They explained family takes their minds off the mission. I don’t usually agree with sending teenagers out without the benefit of their parents, but I am sure there are facets to this I am not seeing.


It's the truth. It's easier when you don't need to be worried about what's going on back home. I was glad that we could only call twice a year . . . it was easier to focus on what I was trying to do.

I'm sure those two elders were grateful for the chance to warm up. Good on ya, Tova.
on Jan 02, 2008

I'm sure those two elders were grateful for the chance to warm up. Good on ya, Tova.

It was a nice visit.

One drank caffeine.  Said he loved sugar and caffeine.  I know there are diff rules but my gal pal Melody doesn't drink anything with caffeine in it. I asked about it and he said it was ok.

It's the truth. It's easier when you don't need to be worried about what's going on back home. I was glad that we could only call twice a year . . . it was easier to focus on what I was trying to do

You know the reason this seems so odd to me doncha?  Because the military, or the AF at least, believes the exact opposite.  The AF goes out of its way to make sure deployed troops speak with their families as much as possible...so they won't be distracted while trying to perform their jobs.

When I was 19 though, I didn't need to talk to family much.  I was too busy exploring my world and my freedom.

on Jan 02, 2008
Well my husband is sooooo much like your husband. I can see him saying the same thing as yours did...hahahah....two peas in a pod?

I ended up in the Mormon church when I was younger because my mom invited two such young people in the house. We liked their friendly way and they made sense (at the time) and we were searching for truth and so we started going to the local gathering and spent about a year with them. But like you it wasn't for us either and we left knowing much more about their faith than before.

As far as snow is concerned.......I AM NOT missing that attall~~

Have a blessed New Year T. When I get back to your neck of the woods I'll be sure to call you and let you know and maybe we can take the two little ones...yours and Amanda's for a walk.

on Jan 02, 2008
As far as snow is concerned.......I AM NOT missing that attall~~


(mutters something about snobby Floridians)

Oh, hi, KFC, didn't see ya there!

LOL!
on Jan 02, 2008

I dont remember the snow of 76, but the one of 74 (Thanksgiving) was a doozy!  The wind howled down the Miami valley and shut down everything!  Except the College!

Then there was the blizzard of 75.  That one was very bad too.  The old NCR plant burned down, and there was nothing the fire department could do as the water froze coming out of the hoses!  Turned the whole area into an ice castle for 2 weeks (until it finally thawed somewhat).

I dont remember there being more snow when I lived in Ohio (more being relative), but that wind down the valley made it seem a lot worse!

Oh, and good for you with the Mormons!  I hope it was a good visit, and I am sure they appreciated getting warm for a few minutes. Mission or no mission, I know it can get very bone chilling up there this time of year.

on Jan 02, 2008

Would I get kicked out of the guy club (once again) if I admit to getting a little misty eyed over this Tova?

Thank you so much for taking care of my son, and my brothers.  Thank you for taking them into your home and your heart, even for a few minutes of warmth (both temperaturewise and kindness).

We did get to talk to Craig on Christmas Day.  It was great talking to him!  He has grown so much in the last year.  It comes out a little in letters and Emails, but it was more than evident talking to him.

I do understand your husband's reaction... but I have to admit, I'm a little entertained by it too. ;~D

~~~~~

You know the reason this seems so odd to me doncha?  Because the military, or the AF at least, believes the exact opposite.  The AF goes out of its way to make sure deployed troops speak with their families as much as possible...so they won't be distracted while trying to perform their jobs.

My wife and I found that the more we talked while I was gone, the longer the time dragged on.  I was in communications, so I really could have called home everyday, even from the field.  We learned though that once a week seemed to be the best for us.

When I started my mission way back when, I thought the no calling rule was stupid too.  However, before too long, I learned that letters (we didn't have Email way back when) were enough to keep in touch and share experiences back and forth with my family.  Talking on the phone was wonderful, but it took a lot longer to push the homesickness back and get our heads and hearts back on the Lord's work.

It does seem amazing though, in 5 more months we'll talk to him again (Mother's Day), then 5 months later... he'll be flying home.

 

Thank you again for your wondeful heart.

on Jan 02, 2008
Some of my best memories of growing up were after the power went out... Some of my best memories of my kids growing were after the power went out.

No wonder I'm into disasters. ;~D
on Jan 02, 2008
Have a blessed New Year T. When I get back to your neck of the woods I'll be sure to call you and let you know and maybe we can take the two little ones...yours and Amanda's for a walk.


Please do, that will be great!

I dont remember the snow of 76, but the one of 74 (Thanksgiving) was a doozy! The wind howled down the Miami valley and shut down everything! Except the College!
Then there was the blizzard of 75. That one was very bad too. The old NCR plant burned down, and there was nothing the fire department could do as the water froze coming out of the hoses! Turned the whole area into an ice castle for 2 weeks (until it finally thawed somewhat).


That's right. I forgot you were in Ohio when younger. I'm telling you I think there was more snow then. (Even though its still snowing outside right now.....)
on Jan 02, 2008
Would I get kicked out of the guy club (once again) if I admit to getting a little misty eyed over this Tova?

Thank you so much for taking care of my son, and my brothers. Thank you for taking them into your home and your heart, even for a few minutes of warmth (both temperaturewise and kindness).


Ah, thanks Ted. I really did think about you and your son the whole time they were here. One was from Utah, the other from Seattle.

My wife and I found that the more we talked while I was gone, the longer the time dragged on. I was in communications, so I really could have called home everyday, even from the field. We learned though that once a week seemed to be the best for us.


That worked for us before the war. But once he started into hostile territory I was glad to hear from him every single time he was able to call...and he says calling and hearing our voices was a constant reminder to stay on his toes. Of course I didn't usually tell him about any "trouble" at home. Hard to do that in 3 minutes.

Email really made it nice for us. But I do understand everyone is different.

It does seem amazing though, in 5 more months we'll talk to him again (Mother's Day), then 5 months later... he'll be flying home.


That's wonderful. I am sure he'll have some serious stories of sin city, and some not so serious ones. The two guys who were here said they couldn't wait to get to college, and they felt this gave them some real world time before they go.



on Jan 02, 2008
Some of my best memories of growing up were after the power went out... Some of my best memories of my kids growing were after the power went out.

No wonder I'm into disasters


hahaha. No kidding. My oldest looks to me for entertainment when the electricity goes out. He doesn't have any clue how to self entertain, except reading. And he can only do that for awhile before he gets tired of it.

on Jan 02, 2008
Obviously we don't get snow here, but a few weeks ago we lost power for several days. It's always fun at first but it quickly gets old.

The boys were SO happy when the power finally came back on.

I think it's incredible how mindful you are of your children in everything you do. You always seem to consider what you are teaching them, what kind of experiences and memories they are getting, from all your interactions with them. I tend to not think things through so often, or so deeply, and your writing about your family is always a good reminder for me to try to do better.

I don't know how I would feel about one of my children only being able to call me twice a year. I would be a nervous wreck the entire time. There is something comforting about hearing a voice. You can get the details from letters or emails but you can tell much more about how a loved one is doing when you actually hear them speak.

I'm with you on hearing from hubby frequently.

I would worry when I didn't hear from Adrian. An "I'm ok" email lets you know they're...haha...ok...but it is much different to hear their voice. And I know for Adrian, he needed to hear my voice as well. For some people I think maybe a lot of contact with family is a distraction, but for others, it's the very reason why they are careful and why they work so hard. They focus better when they know they are loved and that the ones they care about are well and missing them and depending on them.

That's my limited experience anyways.

PS - I love that you tunneled out through the window.
on Jan 02, 2008
I would worry when I didn't hear from Adrian. An "I'm ok" email lets you know they're...haha...ok...but it is much different to hear their voice. And I know for Adrian, he needed to hear my voice as well. For some people I think maybe a lot of contact with family is a distraction, but for others, it's the very reason why they are careful and why they work so hard. They focus better when they know they are loved and that the ones they care about are well and missing them and depending on them.

That's my limited experience anyways.


Me too.

I think it's incredible how mindful you are of your children in everything you do. You always seem to consider what you are teaching them, what kind of experiences and memories they are getting, from all your interactions with them. I tend to not think things through so often, or so deeply, and your writing about your family is always a good reminder for me to try to do better.


Thanks Tex. I don't always think about how things will effect them (um, like when I am yelling about picking their clothes off the floor, heh).

Have you seen the dog whisperer? I love that show, and I'm not even that wild about dogs! I think they should have the child whisperer. Not the NANNY, who came and it took a WHOLE HOUR for her to whip the kids and parents into shape. But a child whisperer who can come in, say "Shst," point, and get the kids to submit in like ten minutes with no commercials. hahahahaha

It's so funny, my husband and I go around and point at each other and say "SHST!" when we want the other to submit.

I don't know why it doesn't work. I do it just like the dog whisperer.

on Jan 02, 2008
Nice, average, vanilla memories. And I am thankful for every single one of them.

I think you and I grew up similarly, so this hit home with me. I try to do the same, thing, give them normal and happy memories. My oldest is rebelling at the time, but he is coming around, slowly.

The snow here is the ugly snow. It's piled up and black. Everything is crunchy. Supposedly we are getting the pineapple express so the stuff can go away. The one thing about my sons school district, is they almost never, ever close. The boys hate that!

Now for those Mormons. At Christmastime we went to see the Creche at the Mormon church by my house. Every year I have wanted to go, but I always missed it for some reason or another. Not this year. My youngest and I went and it was one of the best Christmas experiences we have had this season, maybe all the seasons of his vast 7 years.

The folks there were so kind and friendly. I actually knew some of them from coming in to my work. The one thing I could feel throughout the whole time I was there was the sense of love, family and worship. While I probably won't be joining, I will go back every year for that and any other time I am invited to something. I just can't say enough good things about the evening. It truly was the most spiritual night I had in 2007. Thanks Mormons


on Jan 02, 2008

I think you and I grew up similarly, so this hit home with me. I try to do the same, thing, give them normal and happy memories.

Who knew being normal would be such hard work?

Meh, sometimes I just wanna crawl out the window into the snow....just to get a reaction! lol

The one thing I could feel throughout the whole time I was there was the sense of love, family and worship. While I probably won't be joining, I will go back every year for that and any other time I am invited to something. I just can't say enough good things about the evening. It truly was the most spiritual night I had in 2007. Thanks Mormons

Considering the family reunion you wrote to me about, this is high praise indeed.  It's awesome you and your son were able to do something together.  A mom and son thing.

 

on Jan 02, 2008
I hope the New Year is good to you. Full of many blessings, adventures, and discovery.


I have this deep down feeling it's gonna be exactly that. And I hope the same for you too, Tova.

(Brrrr...snow!    )
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