Is it just me or did spring totally skip out this year?  Just when it started warming up and things began turning green, it turned bitter cold, killing all the buds and many perennials which were already poking their heads out.

Then, BAM, last week we were close to 90.  And since the rain is missing us, everyone’s lawns are already going dormant (read brown) in MAY!

This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it is to me.  Yesterday I ordered 4 cubic yards of black mulch and spent the day spreading it in my flower beds.  It took me all day but dang it looks good!  Heh.  This year I did all red and white annuals.  Red is my all time favorite color so I just went for it.

Black mulch looks great, but stinks.  And since it is so dark it gets really hot during the day, then steams in the cooler night air.  Nothing like big piles of steaming stinking mulch, my flower garden’s special effects.

Have you ever noticed when you put sod in your yard, or grass seed, it is freaking hard to get it to grow without daily maintenance for several weeks?  But let one little grass root land in a flower bed and it grows lush with no effort.  What is up with that?

Today I cleaned out the garage.  I was going to power wash it but didn’t have time.  Besides Gavin was “helping” me so it took twice as long.

I used to be a big historical romance buff.  Take any event in history and add characters to it, a little romance, and I was hooked.  I read hundreds of novels.  That was back in the 80’s.

I picked up some paranormal romance by JR Ward…Black Dagger Brotherhood…and I was completely stunned at how much romance has changed.

For example in the 80’s I might read something like, “He rained wet kisses down her throat, across her breasts, until he reached the core of her femininity.”  Pretty mild, lots of flowery language.

Pfft.

Not anymore.  Now it reads….”He stroked her pus** with the head of his co**.”  I almost fell out of my chair!  And then I looked at the publisher thinking I some how picked up a pornographic novel at Wal-Mart?  Nope.  Same publisher I read in the 80’s. 

Don’t get me wrong.  If you like paranormal with some romance mixed in…read this hot new series by JR Ward.  It won’t make you any smarter, but the characters are so incredibly well done…I feel bad that the author has to be labeled under romance.  She’s good, except the passive voice.

I went for a pedicure last week.  (I blogged about spreading 4 cubic yards of dirt already.)  What I didn’t mention was the fact I did it in gardening shoes so everyday I scrubbed my feet and toenails to get the dirt out.

When I arrived for my pedicure, I got the only Asian guy in the place.  And while I scrubbed most of the dirt from my toenails, there was a little left.  He immediately started speaking Korean to another employee (no doubt talking about the sliver of dirt in one corner of my big toe).  I know they were talking about me because the female couldn’t meet my eyes, and well, you can just tell.

Which brings me to a friend of mine who just received her first Brazilian wax (getting wax on your private parts and having all hair yanked from said parts).  She said it was painless and I should try it.

Painless?  That didn’t sound right to me.

I told her I’d have to check with some other people first before I even considered it.  So who did I consult?  Why YouTube of course.  After watching these ladies, well my decision seems obvious.