Disturbia, fiction, family, friends, and everything else between the lions.
better title than the last.
Published on May 30, 2006 By Tova7 In Home & Family

I woke up this morning at 4am.

 

Have you ever woke up early with your heart racing, your mind clear, and ready to meet the day?

 

Well, it wasn’t like that.

 

My three year old is having nightmares.  I’m not sure why, but it may have something to do with our trip to the Columbus Zoo on Saturday.

 

The day was hot and sticky.  The kind of day that makes you turn on the air conditioner in May even though you swore it would never happen.  The kind of day that fills your lungs with steamy humidity, making every breath a sort of water torture.  The kind of day that makes you wonder why you’re at the zoo and not at the water park.   That kind of day.

 

The zoo was packed.  Of course it was packed.  It was a Saturday and Memorial Day Weekend.

 

I don’t like large crowds.  I don’t know when this aversion began.  When I was younger I sought out the biggest crowd and then tried to be the center of it.  Now that I have kids, I just want them to go away.  The crowds I mean, not the kids…..so much.

 

We were on a mission to see the monkeys.  My son loves monkeys.  And where were the monkeys?  At the very back of the zoo.  The second part of our mission was to navigate the crowd and get to the monkeys before my son got cranky from the heat and lack of a nap and became well, a monkey.

 

We never found the monkeys.  But we found the carousel.  I wonder whose idea it was to insert a carousel into the middle of a zoo and charge everyone $1 a ride?  A freaking rich genius that’s who!  We waited, and waited, and sweated, and waited.  Finally it was our turn.

 

My son loved it.

 

Then we found the snakes.  Or the petting zoo for snakes.  My son petted a rat snack, tapped on the glass of the rattle snake’s cage, and then sat on the ledge of the python’s cage.  The python was easily twice his size.  But my son’s pink tongue stuck out at it defiantly just the same.

 

We found the aquarium with the manatees.  My son was so impressed with the ducks floating in the tank.  He could see their feet under water and see them up top at the same time.  He yelled, “Mommy!  Mommy!  Mommy!  Duck!”  the entire time we were at the manatees.  He was not so impressed with the huge dinosaur like lumps on the bottom of the tank.

 

We found the gorillas.  Not monkeys mind you, but close enough.  They were sitting and sleeping in a tiny bit of shade.  There is only one thing hotter than standing in the humidity of a 97 degree day on pavement watching gorillas do nothing.  And that is holding a 40 pound child up so he can see the gorillas do nothing on a humid 97 degree day while standing on pavement.

 

We stood there.  We stood some more.  The gorillas slept.

 

Finally, my husband declared an end to this trip and we headed toward the exit.

 

That is when we found play land, long colorful tubes of thick plastic pipes kids slide down and play in, amid nets and ropes and every imaginable outdoor apparatus.  And no shade.  As hot as we were watching him play, imagine the heat inside those tubes.  A perfectly normal child could go in and come out well, well done.

 

My son loved it.

 

As we were walking out my son experienced such a trauma I believe it is where his nightmares stem, and thus my early morning risings.

 

“BEE!  BEE!  Mommy BEE!”

 

Yup.  He touched a snake, wrangled the heat, played in hell land, and a bee was his undoing.

 

Last summer my oldest was rolling the garden hose up while my youngest looked on two feet away.  My oldest son’s labor attracted the attention of some nearby bees who thought him dangerous.  They attacked.  He ran away screaming and crying.  Ran away and left his little two year old brother standing there to face the hostile bees alone.

 

Ever since that moment the scariest word in my toddler’s vocabulary is ‘bee.”  Nothing can produce the kind of blood curdling scream as that one word.

 

Which wouldn’t be so bad I guess if he knew the difference between a bee and well, any other flying insect.

 

Flies are bees.  Bees are bees.  Mosquitoes are bees.  Dragon flies are bees.  If it creeps, and it flies, it is a bee.  And much screaming ensues.  No amount of explaining or scolding changes this drama.

 

My son dreams of bees.

 

So for the last three mornings I wake up to a screaming child telling the bees “NO GET ME!  HELP!  HELP ME MOMMY!”

 

Yeah, it was that kind of morning.


Comments (Page 1)
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on May 30, 2006
Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.
on May 30, 2006
Oh do I understand your three year old right now. I got stung by a bunch of hornets while I was on a roof when I was 10. I almost fell off the roof. My dad got me down and immediately put mud on my underarm which had numerous bites the whole while I was screaming my little head off. Since then I freak when anything like a bee or hornet buzzes by my head or any body part for that matter.

I can touch a snake, kill a spider or watch a mouse run by me but a bee? No way can I stand still when one buzzes by me.

Maybe you can give him "protection" before he goes to bed. Something you come up with that speaks of safety that no bug can get by....maybe a stuffed animal in the form of a snake or monkey. Call it a bee eater. After a few nights this should help. When he wakes you point to the protection and he can see that he wasn't touched. It's worth a try. You need your sleep and so does he.
on May 30, 2006
Awww! This is such a cute time for our little guys isn't it? I hope that all their problems be as easily solved with a "Mommy will protect you!"
on May 30, 2006
This is so cute, poor baby!! I hope he starts dreaming of gorillas sleeping instead

Bad, bad bees!!!!
on May 30, 2006
First of all let me say your son loving monkey's is grrrreat. I love monkeys!

Now, I hate bees. I hope it goes away soon. I think my little one went through the nightmares too. I tried everything and nothing worked until the batman sheets he picked out to protect him.

I hope you get sleep soon.
on May 30, 2006

Maybe you can give him "protection" before he goes to bed. Something you come up with that speaks of safety that no bug can get by....maybe a stuffed animal in the form of a snake or monkey. Call it a bee eater.

Oh that is soooo good!  He already sleeps with a cat called Garfield and a dog named Odie!  Now they will both eat bees.

Thanks...great idea.

on May 30, 2006

This is such a cute time for our little guys isn't it?

Yes, he is cute...but not so much at 4am. Heh.

I tried everything and nothing worked until the batman sheets he picked out to protect him.

This is such an excellent idea.  You and KFC are great moms to even think of something like this.  Thank you.

DEATH TO ALL BEES

He is gonna have a really hard time when they come to pollinate our apple trees...they practically swarm.

HAHAHAHAHA.  I'm not laughing at him.......really..ok maybe just a little.....

I hope he starts dreaming of gorillas sleeping instead

I'm taking him again in about a week, and we're going early in the morning when the animals are more active...he'll probably love watching them swing around.  But I hope it won't freak him out...hahaha.

on May 30, 2006
My son was scared of butterflies. We tried to convince that no one ever died from a butterfly attack. That butterflies don't even bit you. It didn't matter. I thought he was over it but we went to a butterfly exhibit at the botanical garden last year and he freaked. I thought it was incredably cool. They had butterflies from all over the world flying in the atrium.

I am allergic to bee stings so they have always freaked me out. The worst is if there is a bee or wasp in the house or car. I just about die. ugh.

Oh and I love the monkeys too. My favorite are the gibbons that just swing all over the place. Columbus has a great zoo too. I love zoos. The Fort Worth zoo is a fun day but we only go in January or at least a cooler day. Definately not in the heat of summer. That lesson was learned the hard way. I think I almost melted into a puddle on the pavement, just like the wicked witch of the west. "I'm melting, melting, what a world, what a world."

Oh and I've had my AC on now for almost two months here in Texas. We had a 100 degree day in April. It's going to be a long hot one.
on May 31, 2006

Oh and I've had my AC on now for almost two months here in Texas. We had a 100 degree day in April. It's going to be a long hot one.

But Spring is supposed to be in the 70's with the windows open and all that!  hahahahha.

I hate paying huge electric bills.  And my husband thinks if the AC is on he should need a blanket...so we are constantly dueling at the ac controller.....

I think you're right though, so far it seems like this summer might be brutal!

on May 31, 2006

I got to ask. Were they bees?  Or Hornets?

Bees (well, the African ones do), dont swarm.  Hornets always do!  $($*($* things!

on May 31, 2006
They were big fat yellow jackets...are those bees?  I call them bees because they look like it.....they love apples and don't like little boys with water hoses! hah!
on May 31, 2006

They were big fat yellow jackets...are those bees?

)(&)(&))&*^&*%^%

Hornets!  Excuse my language.

No, they are not Bees,  They are nasty things!  I have been swarmed by them more times than you have children!  Bees (except the African ones - way south so far) dont swarm.  Hornets do!

Bees do good.  Hornets?  Can anyone tell me what good they do?

on May 31, 2006

Can anyone tell me what good they do?

They make little boys scream in their sleep....

HAHAHAHAH.  Ok it is a little bit funny....they sure like apples though.

My poor little man shakes in his shoes when he sees them.

on May 31, 2006
want me to have a lil talk wid da boy?

with the exception of hippos (which turn out to be even more deadly than i perceived them when i weighed even less than 30lbs) somehow my fear of creatures who crawl and wiggle (and bite or sting if not carefully handled)--and i was initially truly terrified of them--turned to fascination. by the time i was five, i'd begun assembling my first menagerie.

i used to say if it wasn't for the math & chemistry, i'd be a herpetologist today; if i'd been a bit more focused is much more accurate.
on May 31, 2006
oh. almost forgot.

wasps & hornets help keep perpetual munchers--grubs, caterpillars and other voracious larvae--in check.
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