Disturbia, fiction, family, friends, and everything else between the lions.
crapola
Published on October 24, 2011 By Tova7 In Blogging

Whew.

A couple articles ago I mentioned being pooped, tired, tuckered out. 

http://lifehappens.joeuser.com/article/411794/Ejection_Fraction

It is soooo much worse now.

Turns out there is a medical reason for it (as opposed to a vacation and running around too much reason).

With only 3 breast cancer treatments left, I had to stop.  My heart is down around 49% and has enlarged in an attempt to compensate.

Heart Failure.

I have to see a cardiologist.

I have to hope I don't have a heart attack.

My chest hurts.

All the time.

Feels like someone punched me in the sternum.

Hard.

I never really thought about it until now but, when your heart isn't working...nothing else does either.

Memory, eyes, muscles, balance, even emotions (zombie anyone?)...all of it fluctuates.

My poor family...I get really grouchy when I'm tired.

On another note...have you ever seen the brunette Michael Bolton?  Like I told my teenager (when discussing porn on the net), some things can NEVER be unseen.

I know.  Right?


Comments (Page 1)
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on Oct 24, 2011

on Oct 25, 2011

Just saw this...damn.  You are in our thoughts and prayers.  Good thoughts and hopes.

on Oct 25, 2011

I don't what to say, other than to try to offer you words of encouragement. If anyone can get through this, it will definitely be you. You are so strong...

Hopefully you get to see the cardiologist soon, and the condition can be treated and reversed.

Sending warm thoughts, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

on Oct 25, 2011

Bunnahabhain
I don't what to say, other than to try to offer you words of encouragement. If anyone can get through this, it will definitely be you. You are so strong...
Hopefully you get to see the cardiologist soon, and the condition can be treated and reversed.
Sending warm thoughts, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Thank you Bunnah.  I appreciate it.

Big Fat Daddy
Just saw this...damn. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Good thoughts and hopes.

Yeah, NO ONE gets away unscathed.  No.  One.



 

on Oct 25, 2011

i've always thought of you having a lotta heart.  for whatever it's worth, you're in my heart now too.

should count for something.

on Oct 25, 2011

I echo BFD's comments.  God go with you and bless you and your family.

on Oct 25, 2011

Dr Guy
God go with you and bless you and your family.

And direction to a capable and savy cardiologist would be appreciated too.

kingbee
i've always thought of you having a lotta heart. for whatever it's worth, you're in my heart now too.
should count for something.

It counts KB.  Thank you.



on Oct 25, 2011

Love ya, lady.

Call me.

757-893-9130

on Oct 25, 2011

What's one more hurdle for a hurdler like you, right?  Know you have fans cheering you on, even if from afar.

God bless you.  Get through this.

on Oct 25, 2011

Dear Tova,

Oh such sad news....an added weight to the heavy cross you were already bearing.

But you know what? You're not alone during this battle for Almighty God knows what He's doing with you. He's there in every cell of your body if you want Him to be. So trust Him and give Him your every fear, thought, pain and suffering.  Offer it all up to Jesus. 

Place yourself securely in God's hands and you will find peace through all the days ahead.

With love to you and your family and prayers for all,

Lula

on Oct 26, 2011

Daiwa
What's one more hurdle for a hurdler like you, right? Know you have fans cheering you on, even if from afar.
God bless you. Get through this.

Thanks D I'm trying.  My heart is being disobedient tho.  So stubborn.  I actually have had people in my life blame EXERCISE for my heart problems!!  How crazy is that?  (Of course it is obvious they are attempting to justify their own inactivity....if I die of a heart attack and they blame exercise, then SEE, exercise kills.)  Shesh.  Exercise is the only thing that kept my heart strong enough to work at less than half capacity....chemo damaged it..NOT working out.

I just stand, gape mouthed when someone says that to me.

 

And on another note.  WOW.  It takes forever to get in to see a cardiologist around here!!

 

lulapilgrim
Oh such sad news....an added weight to the heavy cross you were already bearing.
But you know what? You're not alone during this battle for Almighty God knows what He's doing with you. He's there in every cell of your body if you want Him to be. So trust Him and give Him your every fear, thought, pain and suffering. Offer it all up to Jesus.
Place yourself securely in God's hands and you will find peace through all the days ahead.
With love to you and your family and prayers for all,
Lula

Thanks Lula.  I appreciate the kind words.  I believe, have always believed, even before articulation, I have a set number of days (as does everyone).

I have every confidence I will stick around as long as I'm meant too...







on Oct 26, 2011

LW, I'll try tomorrow during the day...I'll be home for a few hours....

 

on Oct 26, 2011

less than half capacity....chemo damaged it..NOT working out

We have really good ways of helping that, Tova.  Is Cleveland Clinic an option for you?

on Oct 26, 2011

I don't know D.  I imagine I can get a second opinion there.  After I get my first opinion here!  I'd really like to build my heart back up with out drugs...I'm so over drugs....lol.

I talked to a Naturo-path M.D. in the interim, who told me to take 2000-3000 liquid L-Carnitine a day, and 200-400 of CoQ10.  He said I shoulda been on that the whole time.....and I do feel much better now that I'm on it.  (But who knows if its really helping.)

I think they may have been giving me one of the treatments too fast...found literature that suggests slowing it down to 90 minutes may reduce toxicity to the heart.

I get mine in 28 minutes flat....lol.

I think the Onc nurses just want me out and gone so they do it as fast as possible.

on Oct 26, 2011

I think they may have been giving me one of the treatments too fast...found literature that suggests slowing it down to 90 minutes may reduce toxicity to the heart.

I get mine in 28 minutes flat....lol.

Interesting.

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