Glad all went well. Hope you get better.

It is a bit disconcerting to have them read you the "odds".  I have been through it twice (with 2 children - minor surgery, but they said it was required).

I can only echo what BFD said.  And he said it so well. I am glad you came through with your wit and wisdom intact.  Odds do not mean a thing when you have a positive outlook - and that is not in question in your case.

Our prayers will continue as you continue your journey.

Actually Doc, it is beyond disconcerting when the Oncologist walks in, looks at the lab paperwork, then hugs your neck. 

Thanks Charles.  I appreciate the sentiment.

what was that all about? 

...and to think some people pay good money for that experience!

Yeah, well I won't complain if they cut me a check

He saw that my nodes were positive, and I didn't let them take enough to stage me appropriately.  He thinks I'm going to die soon.

I told BFD about this poem when his Dad died in '97; it gave him comfort at a time things were very difficult for him.   I think it expresses very well the world in which we find ourselves when we haven't got much control over the situation.( Sometimes I call it "mortality soup".)  But someone is in charge..

"Be like the bird, that

Pausing in her flight,

Awhile on boughs to light

Feels them give way beneath her and yet sings,

Knowing that she hath wings."

     -Victor Hugo

May the Lord bless you.  CM

Thanks so much CM.  I really needed that today.  More than I'd ever admit outloud. 

Here's another that might help...maybe you know it? 

A BEND IN THE ROAD

Sometimes we come to life's crossroads,

and view what we think is the end,

But God has a much wider vision,

and He knows it's only a bend-

The road will go on and get smoother,

and after we've stopped for a rest,

The path that lies hidden beyond us

is often the part that is best.

So rest and relax and grow stronger-

let go and let God share your load,

And have faith in a brighter tomorrow-

you've just come to a bend in the road.

Helen Steiner Rice

Ah, so beautiful and so true KFC.

"So rest and relax and grow stronger-let go and let God share your load,"

We must remember grace will be proportioned to the trials giving us strength to carry us through them.

In other words Tova, just offer it up.....and "let God share your load."

Although I don't know who wrote it, there is a prayer to the Holy Spirit that fills me with consolation. It might do the same for you.

Come Holy Spirit,

Replace the tension within us with a holy relaxation.

Replace the turbulence within us with a sacred calm.

Replace the anxiety within us with a quiet confidence.

Replace the fear within us with a strong faith.

Replace the bitterness within us with the sweetness of grace.

Replace the darkness within us with a gentle light.

Replace the coldness within us with a loving warmth.

Replace the night within us with Your Light.

Replace the winter within with Your Spring.

Straighten our crookedness.

Fill our emptiness.

Light the fires of our love.

Quench the flames of our lust.

Dull the edge of our pride.

Sharpen the edge of our humility.

O Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul. I adore You. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me.

Thanks Ladies.  I understand the intention behind letting God "share the load." 

I won't lie.  This is one of the hardest things in our faith for me to swallow.  And one of the things I like to hear least.  Why?

It often wars with the reality that while God is sharing the load, taking responsibility for it, I am still the one doing the actual factual walking, the sweating, the bleeding. 

I think strife is much like an overturned cart on a pot holed littered country lane.  I have to get the cart turned back rightside up, fix the wheel with scraped and bleeding knuckles, dodge the other cart's biting stallions and sharp hooves, navigate the slick mud when the rain starts, and (if God is with me) be CONTENT doing so.

I am a practical woman.  And while having company on the side of the road watching is nice.  It has not often brought me the contentment promised in so many poems.  Not so much as say, a pair of hands. 

Though I still take comfort from the words.

Weird. Ain't it?

It's not about doing your share or carrying your load for you.  We are never supposed to take another's burdens from them only help shoulder the unnecessary burden they may be carrying.  So while God is there watching over you, he allows you to go thru the fire only enough to temper you just right, never to burn you out.  He watches over you carefully and when he thinks you're unnecessarily burdened he sends someone at just the right time either in word or deed just when you need it.  Never early, and never late. 

We should be the same way with our children.  We need to stand back and let them go thru whatever it is they need to go thru but when it gets to be too much, only then should we step in and lend the hand to help right that cart.  More lessons are learned thru the bad times than the good. 

So while Christ said to those who are heavy laden to come to him, he also said his burden was light...he never said it was non-existent.  He expects us to at least carry something; at least carry a load.  When we carry his load which is light, we can help another when their burden becomes too heavy. 

and remember the ones who write the poems quite often have gotten to the other side and are looking back. 

KFC,

Such a fine response. So absolutely, positively true.     

That could be called carrying our cross.

So out of curiosity...what do you consider "burn out?" 

And on another note, that is what (for me, my issue) makes it so hard to take.  I'd rather be suffering alone in a dark room, than be in it with someone who refuses to speak to me, or help.  Alone on the road, rather than being watched while I struggle.  It makes the suffering worse to know someone is there and can help, but chooses not too.  I get the whole lessons thing.  Yes I do it with my kids, but I don't stand and watch when they are really suffering if I can help.  I just can't do it. Truth?  Won't do it.  I don't consider it being a good steward.  

I think this is why some people believe in the clockmaker theory of God, that He set things in motion and just lets it all play out.  I don't believe this.  But I certainly can understand the point of view.

I believe rain falls on believers and unbelievers equally.  I just have someone to complain too, and ask for help (which is sometimes granted in miraculous breathtaking ways, and other times seemingly ignored).

Mostly I love God for who He is, not what He does for me.

Oh I understand that, and accept it as part of my faith.  But when trials come, as they do in everyone's life, for me, these questions bubble to the surface.  And they've never really been answered in such a way as to lay them down for good.

Maybe they never will be. 

I dunno.

Lol, Lula you are SO Catholic.

I don't believe every Christian has a cross to bear, unless you call living life in a fallen world bearing a cross, then technically everyone carries it.