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Published on January 11, 2007 By Tova7 In Blogging

What is the deal with little girls?

 

My 11 year old plays basketball.  He is on one of about twenty teams.  They alternate playing games at each of our five elementary schools.

 

The basketball floor is standard size, just.  And there is nowhere for parents to sit except a filthy little stage which overlooks the basketball court by about four feet.  There are no chairs or risers, and often a lot of theatre props litter the small stage.  Most of these props have big notes taped to them threatening terrifying consequences if anyone from the basketball league touches them.

 

I can take my own chair, no problem.  I can keep my hands off the props.  Easy.  The problem is, I have to take my three year old.  I can take things for him to do like color, building blocks, etc.  He is fairly obedient so he is ok not touching the props.

 

The problem I have isn’t with my son, the lack of space so much, or the threatening notes.  It’s the other kids, more specifically the little girls aged from 4 to 9.

 

They ask my three year old to play and then proceed to run from him.  They want him to chase them.  It hurts his feelings.  He doesn’t understand and thinks they are running away because they don’t like him.

 

They shouldn’t be running in the tight little space with a myriad of parents cramped in,  and a four foot drop always just a hairs breath away, but alas and alak, some parents turn their backs on the kids and let them do as they please.

 

It annoys the crap out of me.  My son always ends up with his feelings hurt even when I warn him ahead of time what the girls will do.  For some reason, all the siblings on my son’s team are girls except one very violent little boy whose parents thankfully keep him in their lap.

 

I remember the first time I learned girls were “supposed” to run from boys.  I was in seventh grade and made a new friend in the trailer court.  Her name was Tracy Trout.  Tracy and I were outside playing in the yard when Mark, one of her two younger brothers but bigger than both of us, came plowing toward us screaming like an Indian.

 

Tracy jumped up off the grass and ran.  I did what I always did, I stood, waited for impact, then started swinging.

 

Mark was only 11 months younger than I was and very handsome.  And yeah, I saw girls running from boys on the playground in school, but I thought it was because they were weak and couldn’t defend themselves.  After all, why would you run from someone you could most likely whip?

 

This was one of those things I think mother’s talk to their daughters about.  I didn’t have a mom and my dad would say, “defend yourself.”  So I thought those running girls were silly weaklings.

 

Mark was shocked when I hit him.  I can still see his brown eyes and mussed brown hair in my mind’s eye.  He looked at me like I was some sort of alien, turned, and ran.

 

Tracy educated me.  She told me, in her 'I have a mom and know these things' kinda way, girls are SUPPOSED to run from boys.  All girls like to be chased don’t ya know?

 

Nope.  I didn’t have a clue and she didn’t convince me.

 

Mark never attempted to chase me again. 

 

Now I have a little boy who has no idea he is “supposed” to chase little girls.  They are all used to being chased and it seems like the only game they want to play.

 

Tag I can understand, except these silly girls never take their turn at being “it.”

 

I don’t have daughters.  If I did, they wouldn’t be inviting little boys to chase them around for no better reason than being chased.  Why?  Because eventually little boys catch them…then what?

 

Most little boys I see get trapped into this game end up putting their hands on the girl and trying to tackle her, or some other fairly physical act, which invariable gets the girl crying and the boy in trouble.

 

I don’t think its “instinctive” or any other built in mechanism that makes little girls want boys to chase them.  I had to be taught and I knew other girls who didn’t run from boys either.

 

So what is it?  Is this something mothers are teaching their daughters by example, by default, or by indifference?

 

I’d really like to know.


Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Jan 11, 2007

My sisters were the same way.  They would play tag, but if a guy chased them for sport?  They decked him!  Guess my mom did not teach them right either.

on Jan 11, 2007
Maybe you should tell the girls he doesn't like to play chase when they ask if he can play. I know you shouldn't have to be activities coordinator but ask them to play school. Little girls like being teachers too because then they can be bossy.

I definately was chased. We played superheroes at recess and I always got to be wonder woman but now that I think about it I should have been chasing bad guys not getting chased. I mean who has the bracelets?

The thing that makes me crazy when I end up with a group of little girls - that high pitched squealy-scram that goes on. I always wanted a girl but I got three boys but whenever I am exposed to that scream at just the right pitch to set my teeth on edge, I am so glad that I have boys.
on Jan 11, 2007
Maybe you should tell the girls he doesn't like to play chase when they ask if he can play. I know you shouldn't have to be activities coordinator but ask them to play school. Little girls like being teachers too because then they can be bossy.

I definately was chased. We played superheroes at recess and I always got to be wonder woman but now that I think about it I should have been chasing bad guys not getting chased. I mean who has the bracelets?

The thing that makes me crazy when I end up with a group of little girls - that high pitched squealy-scram that goes on. I always wanted a girl but I got three boys but whenever I am exposed to that scream at just the right pitch to set my teeth on edge, I am so glad that I have boys.
on Jan 11, 2007
I don't teach my son to chase girls, but then I dont' know if he does with his friends when they're playing outside. Although I have seen him do that because the girls in question did that out of fun, just like those little ones did to your son. Maybe it's an inherrent thing?!!

My daughter doesn't do that, although she would probably deck someone. Yes, she's that feirce, so I always have to watch her around other kids cause she doesn't take kindly to being picked on or hit. Even though there are times when she can be so sensitive to what others say about her.

I have seen her do that to her brother's friends though, make them chase her? I didn't teach her that!! Maybe it's just the kids who invent this little game themselves uh?!
on Jan 11, 2007

Guess my mom did not teach them right either.

Yeah.  But I wonder if your mom ever discussed it with them, or if they just "knew"  how she would expect them to act in that situation?  Not having a mom I often felt like the other girls were further ahead in some things (maturity) than I was.

My dad treated me just like my brother until I turned 13 and announced I could no longer play tackle football with the boys on the block.  When I asked him why, he just told me to shut up and do what he said.

 

on Jan 11, 2007

Maybe you should tell the girls he doesn't like to play chase when they ask if he can play. I know you shouldn't have to be activities coordinator but ask them to play school. Little girls like being teachers too because then they can be bossy.

Heh.  I DO this.  I bring enough blocks, or crayons, or whatever for several kids.  But, nope.  They want to run and probably because they are cooped up in school all day.  I can understand the desire to run.  I was more of an active child, not a sit and color one.

I tell them it hurts his feelings and most of the time they just go on about their business as if I never spoke.  And when he starts crying the other parents look at me like "SHESH!"  hahahahahaha.

 

on Jan 11, 2007

When I asked him why, he just told me to shut up and do what he said.

That sounds like me.

on Jan 11, 2007

Maybe it's just the kids who invent this little game themselves uh?!

It may very well come down to personality.  It never occurred to me as a kid to run.  No adult in my life ever even suggested running was an option.  And there were many many fist fights between me and little boys in elementary because I didn't run.

Boys running at me...I saw that as being aggressive..so I responded in kind.  Of course once I hurt them they wanted to hurt me back, no matter what their original intent was.

But my little man is confused by all this no matter how much I explain to him some girls are silly.  He just wants them to play.

on Jan 11, 2007
If I ever getting around to understanding girls completely...I'll write a book.

I don't run...ever. I don't like to run, I disagree with the term, "fun run". Running is not my cup of tea.

Someone messes with me, I'll tell them off or I'll beat the shit out of them. I also get to places early so I don't have to run to catch a ride or get somewhere on time.

The ONLY way I will run is if there is some ferocious beast, fire, lava, boulder, or huge machine is coming towards me rather quickly.

~Zoo
on Jan 11, 2007

If I ever getting around to understanding girls completely...I'll write a book.

You will be the first!

on Jan 11, 2007

If I ever getting around to understanding girls completely...I'll write a book

Don't hold your breath.  hahahahaha.

I don't like to run, I disagree with the term, "fun run". Running is not my cup of tea.

So you never chased a girl around the play ground?  Did the other boys?

 

on Jan 11, 2007
So you never chased a girl around the play ground? Did the other boys?


Why would I chase when they come to me? ...I wish that were the case.

Actually, I don't remember chasing anyone...I think that some of the others may have done that...truthfully I can't remember all that clearly. Wait...well, there was one time when a group of gals had made off with my coat...so I was forced into a pursuit. I didn't engage in many chases.

~Zoo
on Jan 11, 2007
We definitely played chase. There is no good ending to a game of chase except "Recess is over! Line up!" I do believe I once asked "Why are we chasing them?" but nobody knew. Never even thought of catching them, just chasing. I think I caught one once, caught against a fence with nowhere to go, didn't even touch her... and she screamed, and I got yelled at, and that was the end of chase for me.
on Jan 11, 2007
This gym sounds like the gym across the US. Yuck!

Tracy Trout! I love that name.
I don't ever remember running either. I think my youngest and his friends all chase each other when they are outside, but it is a free for all. I will pay better attention.

I hate to hear that his feelings are getting hurt though. He is just a wee thing still.

on Jan 11, 2007

He is just a wee thing still.

You know he is small and his feelings get hurt so easy.  He loves girls, talking to them, playing games with them, but they are usually so mean and have a pack mentality so early.

Tracy Trout! I love that name

Yes we became fast friends because we had the same initials.  TT or T2.  heh.  Her mom let us make homemade chocolate chip cookies every day after school while we watched "General Hospital" back in the Luke and Laura days.

she screamed, and I got yelled at, and that was the end of chase for me.

There is no good ending to a game of chase except "Recess is over! Line up!"

This is what I mean.  I've watched the "chase" game for 11 years now, in diff ways at diff ages, and I have yet to see it end well.  My oldest liked to run, so the girls would think he was chasing them until he passed them up and kept going...hahaha.

so I was forced into a pursuit

buwhahahaha.  I wonder how many men can claim that.

 

 

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