My ten year old hates me. I don’t mean in the tantrum throwing way, but in the silent, won’t eat, stay away from me kind of way.

Today I sat down with him to talk about the amount of time he spends playing video games on line and on his four game systems. He is a good kid, gets good grades, does his chores and has an over all good outlook on life. But since he discovered World of Warcraft and some other online games he has changed.

He still gets good grades but he stays alone in his room more. He gets angry when I take away his gaming privileges. I can understand that. In all the world, right now, it is the one thing he loves. But it is not healthy for him to spend so much time alone in his room. He speeds through his homework and chores now to get to the games. Most of the time only doing each half way.

So today I sat down to talk to him about it. I told him I was totally open to compromise but I wanted to start the “bid” so to speak at weekend game play only. Nothing during the week.

He started crying. He said, “I don’t know why I am doing this,” and pointed to the tears on his cheeks.

I said, “I know why you are doing it. You think your losing something you love to do. It’s ok to be disappointed.”

He countered with something off the wall like unlimited play 5 days a week. We ended up at two nights a week for one hour, and unlimited weekend play as long as he understands weekends are when I do most of my errands, and he can’t complain while we are doing them.

He said fine. So we were in agreement.

Then the shit hit the fan.

I said, “Ok, we’ll start this fresh on Monday.” Right now he has 3 hours play time a day on the weekend.

He said, “No I really want to start it now.”

I said, “I know you do, but we aren’t. We’ll start Monday.”

He said, “Why?”

I said, “Because I originally said we’d start on Monday.”

He said, “No you didn’t.” (I told him this THREE times before the bidding war started, he just didn’t want to hear it.)

I said, “Yes I did. Now stop arguing with me.”

He said, “No you didn’t. Tell me why! Why do we have to start on Monday?.”

I said “How about you don’t play the rest of the night for your attitude? I am the parent H and when I say it starts Monday, it starts Monday and I don’t want to argue.”

He said, “You don’t even have a reason!”

I said, “That’s it, no games the rest of tonight.”

Then I explained to him why I needed to cut his time down. He is becoming socially retarded. All he thinks about or talks about is those stupid games. I told him I don’t like him spending so much time alone in his room.

He said, “I go in my room to get away from you guys!”

I said, “Well too bad buddy. Life says you have to be around people you don’t always like, and as a man you can’t run and hide. But its my job to make sure you become a man, not some immature loser who has the age and not the social ability.”

He said, “How can you do that your not a man?” Then he argued that he could do it if he was an adult, run and hide I mean.

He got so disrespectful in his attitude toward me that I said, “OK, for the attitude you have lost your gaming privileges for tomorrow.”

He is crying the entire time we are talking.

So then he tells me “You just do this stuff to make me miserable. You don’t even have a good reason to wait until Monday, you just want to make me miserable.”

I said, “You are nuts if you believe that. You have every game system made and you think we want you miserable? How many other kids your age have all the things you have? Obviously it was our mistake. You’re not ready, you’re not mature enough.” Then I said, “When I bought you that computer….”

He interrupted and sneered, “You didn’t buy it dad did.”

Whack! I slapped his face.

Then I screamed. “Don’t you ever talk to me in that tone of voice again. EVER! You want to see a parent who wants to make her kid miserable?!”

Then I got a container and went into his room and ripped every game system he has out, as well as his computer. I unhooked his dvd player and cable. And I felt sick while doing it especially the xbox he just bought with his b-day money……

I said, “See what your smart mouth has gotten you? Do you have any idea what we’ve gone through the last ten years so I could stay home with you and be a mom? Well its over, the free ride is over. You want to talk to me like you’re an adult fine. Adults don’t play games, or at least you’re not for a very long time, if ever.” BLAH BLAH BLAH

I hauled all of it out of his room and I don’t know if I will ever give it back.

I shouldn’t have slapped him, but he was sneering at me…SNEERING and he is ten in two weeks!

Then to top it off I made dinner and he said he wasn’t going to eat. He went to bed. My husband is gone again so here I sit, stewing because I slapped my precious son’s face. Because under his anger I know he is hurting but would die before he showed it. Mad because I can’t reach that hurt and help heal it.

And he thinks this really is all about me hating him and not wanting him to be happy. He believes it. I’m afraid to go to bed, he might run away or do something stupid.

My God I am ruining my son. I am a horrible mother and should never EVER had kids. But now that they are here I love them so much I can’t bear to see them hurting. I don’t know how to do this alone…..and alone is how I am most of the time. I can’t even reach my husband by phone.

I don’t know what to do but cry and wish my kids had a better mother.

I hate it.