Disturbia, fiction, family, friends, and everything else between the lions.
But Let Me Go
Published on October 22, 2010 By Tova7 In Blogging

I was asked to say a few words at my Aunt Shelby’s funeral in September.  She planned the entire event, from the Elvis gospel playing in the background, the suit she wore, the flowers she wanted, the casket, everything.  So I was surprised and happy when my cousin (her only child) asked me to say a few words, read a poem, something.  He knew she was a mother to me in so many ways.  And he never resented the time she spent with me, the home she made for me.

In the last week or so I’ve been missing her.  My breast cancer diagnosis came 5 days after the funeral, so I don’t know that I actually grieved.  Today I found what I wrote to say at her funeral, and while I didn’t follow the exact format outlined below, it is fairly close.

I post this as a sort of last tribute.  Because I miss her.  Because I loved her.  Because life is just a little emptier without her.  And today, she is on my mind.

 

-----------------

My name is Tonya. I am Shelby’s niece.

When I was a young teen, abandoned in the world and unable to care for myself….Shelby Jean came for me. She loaded me up in that bright Orange van they used to have, brought me home, and took on the monumental task of raising a very angry child…on top of already being a mother to Carl, a wife to Mike, and handling a full time career. She loved me. She stood for me, committed to me, when no one else would.

And when I look around this room today, I see others who can give similar testimony about Shelby's good deeds. Through lending a hand, a word of advice, a meal, a place to sleep.

Shelby was the strongest most self-sacrificing woman I’ve ever met. And when I tried to find a poem to encapsulate who she was, well, Shelby defies poetry. But I found something, written by an unknown author that I think she’d like me to read, something I think she might say if she could speak for herself.

 

MISS ME - BUT LET ME GO
When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little--but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone. It's all a part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss Me - But Let me Go!

 

I love you Shelby Jean.

 

Miss you.

 


Comments
on Oct 22, 2010

 

on Oct 23, 2010

Tonya, this is beautiful.

on Oct 23, 2010

Right about now I needed to read something like this so many Thanks for sharing your very heartening experience.

When you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.

I think this line says it all.

Doing good deeds. From the way you describe your Aunt Shelby she certainly exemplified doing good deeds. Something tells me she taught you to do good deeds. I think posting this is one of them.

 

on Oct 25, 2010

No words, T...just good thoughts and prayers.

on Oct 25, 2010

Thanks everyone.